Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
