Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
