tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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