I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
