ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize