i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
