Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
