Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize