this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
