Pappa wants mamma naked
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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