Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
