I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
