i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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