Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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