You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
