we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
