Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
