Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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