I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
