mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
