I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize