The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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