Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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