I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize