All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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