I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
