try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
