The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
try to milk me bitch
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
