Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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