I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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