I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize