I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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