So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
