honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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