Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
