im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
