one word: firstdatebathroomanal
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
