You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
