my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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