I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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