So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
