Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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