you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Randomize
