This girl is more easily done than said...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Randomize
