I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
