Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
