Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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