I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
