hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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