he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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