I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
