hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
