Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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