Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
