he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
