everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
