can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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