im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
