Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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